Even Cubs fans have to admit: clever & true!
Megan Brown, that girl on deck editor-in-chief
We don't need a press conference with Ozzie Guillen to know that there are definitely things you can and can't say in sports - or, in some cases, things you shouldn't say in public in general.
Yet, there is one instance in sports where we allow ourselves to let loose... and get a little feisty. You do it, I do it, athletes do it, coaches do it, everyone does it: trash talk.
No doubt about it, trash talk is an integral and inevitable part of sports culture. It's ingrained into fans from birth. In the dictionary, it is defined by Merriam-Webster as "disparaging, taunting, or boastful comments especially between opponents trying to intimidate each other" - but it is so much more than that. Taunting opposing teams' players, management, or even mascots is a favorite past time of athletes and fans alike.
There are many advantages to mastering the art of trash talk. For one, you can intimidate those loudmouth losers at the sports bar so they'll let you watch the game in peace. You can also boost your own confidence if you happen to be the athlete in the situation. Also, you'll be able to stand up for your team when someone dares say disparaging comments- and you'll be able to fire right back. In all of these situations, though, whether you are on national tv or in a tiny sports bar, the true victory is simply your rivals conceding the obvious: that you and/or your team are truly superior to them and/or their team.
But where do you draw the line between clever and crude? Between sarcastic and savage? You don't have to roll out the red carpet for your teams' rivals, but there is definitely an art to effective and acceptable trash talk to ensure you get your point across without disgracing yourself and your team with classless behavior. There are several keys to learning the art of effective and appropriate trash talk - and how to come out on top, even if your own team isn't giving you much to work with.
Follow these quick tips to hone your trash talking, so you can bait with the best of 'em.
Know Your Stuff
Be smart- and know the aptitude of your target. This will enable you to be most effective at getting them to admit defeat. Knowing your "stuff" definitely leads to more witty taunting, so make sure you can at least enough to come up with something more clever than "Prince Fielder is fat." Who cares? Fielder doesn't have to run that fast if he keeps hitting home runs the way he already has this season. You can make broad generalizations based upon a small current season sample size, though. Come on, this is trash talking, and you'll most likely still be more accurate than Skip Bayless is on... well... anything. Also, know the intelligence of your audience. If you team's losing record is worse than my team's, I'd probably avoid that topic. If you are an expert, don't pull out ancient unrelated statistics or obscure games to try to prove your point. You'll only lead your rival to point out that you're merely overcompensating for present failures.
Gain Respect
Know what it means to be a fan. Stand by your team- even if they are losing or just don't have as good of a record as your rival. There have to be some redeeming qualities about your team, or, at least, something unflattering about your rival. (This is sports. Today alone, we had press conferences for two different scandals. Find something!) Also, if you are one of those people who have "backup favorite" teams in a non-collegiate sport and try to mock my team, I will kindly urge you to go look up "loyalty" in the dictionary. It's fine to enjoy watching other teams or admire other athletes, but you can't have allegiances all over the place and expect a diehard fan to take you seriously or even respect you. If you start a sentence, "I like the Yankees, but my backup team are the..." I will have already tuned you out. Well, I'll probably start to tune you out at the Yankees comment, but at least I'd respect you enough to ask if you'd share your Derek Jeter gift basket haul with me.
Give It ...& Take It
This is a life rule. As in, it applies to everything, not just sports. If you can't handle someone trash talking back, don't go stirring up trouble. Honestly, if you're going to whine every time someone brings up the latest Red Sox meltdown, then sports are not for you.
Use Common Sense
There is a major difference between sports trash talk and hate speech. If you feel the need to use ethnic or homophobic slurs, just keep your mouth shut. Threatening players' lives or those of their families is more than just a lack of sportsmanship, it displays your lack of character. Many take their favorite sport seriously, myself among them, but we do not advocate or tolerate violence or hate speech, no matter what. Don't be stupid. It's better to be a sad excuse for a fan rather than a sad excuse for a human being.
Get New Material
Self-explanatory. There are some jibes that are an exception to this, but generally employing overused or proven baseless taunts is akin to telling the same joke over and over: It's isn't funny, and it just annoys everyone around you. Trash talk welcomes puns, jokes, hyperboles, and humor. Focus on these and keep them fresh. In other words, I better not still be hearing "Ryan Braun" and "technicality" in the same sentence in 2019. We're all better than that.
So, off you go, to stadiums and sports bars, to pick up games and playoffs! Even if your team aren't winners this season, at least now you won't sound like a loser... well, at least we can hope!
We don't need a press conference with Ozzie Guillen to know that there are definitely things you can and can't say in sports - or, in some cases, things you shouldn't say in public in general.
Yet, there is one instance in sports where we allow ourselves to let loose... and get a little feisty. You do it, I do it, athletes do it, coaches do it, everyone does it: trash talk.
No doubt about it, trash talk is an integral and inevitable part of sports culture. It's ingrained into fans from birth. In the dictionary, it is defined by Merriam-Webster as "disparaging, taunting, or boastful comments especially between opponents trying to intimidate each other" - but it is so much more than that. Taunting opposing teams' players, management, or even mascots is a favorite past time of athletes and fans alike.
There are many advantages to mastering the art of trash talk. For one, you can intimidate those loudmouth losers at the sports bar so they'll let you watch the game in peace. You can also boost your own confidence if you happen to be the athlete in the situation. Also, you'll be able to stand up for your team when someone dares say disparaging comments- and you'll be able to fire right back. In all of these situations, though, whether you are on national tv or in a tiny sports bar, the true victory is simply your rivals conceding the obvious: that you and/or your team are truly superior to them and/or their team.
But where do you draw the line between clever and crude? Between sarcastic and savage? You don't have to roll out the red carpet for your teams' rivals, but there is definitely an art to effective and acceptable trash talk to ensure you get your point across without disgracing yourself and your team with classless behavior. There are several keys to learning the art of effective and appropriate trash talk - and how to come out on top, even if your own team isn't giving you much to work with.
Follow these quick tips to hone your trash talking, so you can bait with the best of 'em.
Know Your Stuff
Be smart- and know the aptitude of your target. This will enable you to be most effective at getting them to admit defeat. Knowing your "stuff" definitely leads to more witty taunting, so make sure you can at least enough to come up with something more clever than "Prince Fielder is fat." Who cares? Fielder doesn't have to run that fast if he keeps hitting home runs the way he already has this season. You can make broad generalizations based upon a small current season sample size, though. Come on, this is trash talking, and you'll most likely still be more accurate than Skip Bayless is on... well... anything. Also, know the intelligence of your audience. If you team's losing record is worse than my team's, I'd probably avoid that topic. If you are an expert, don't pull out ancient unrelated statistics or obscure games to try to prove your point. You'll only lead your rival to point out that you're merely overcompensating for present failures.
Gain Respect
Know what it means to be a fan. Stand by your team- even if they are losing or just don't have as good of a record as your rival. There have to be some redeeming qualities about your team, or, at least, something unflattering about your rival. (This is sports. Today alone, we had press conferences for two different scandals. Find something!) Also, if you are one of those people who have "backup favorite" teams in a non-collegiate sport and try to mock my team, I will kindly urge you to go look up "loyalty" in the dictionary. It's fine to enjoy watching other teams or admire other athletes, but you can't have allegiances all over the place and expect a diehard fan to take you seriously or even respect you. If you start a sentence, "I like the Yankees, but my backup team are the..." I will have already tuned you out. Well, I'll probably start to tune you out at the Yankees comment, but at least I'd respect you enough to ask if you'd share your Derek Jeter gift basket haul with me.
Give It ...& Take It
This is a life rule. As in, it applies to everything, not just sports. If you can't handle someone trash talking back, don't go stirring up trouble. Honestly, if you're going to whine every time someone brings up the latest Red Sox meltdown, then sports are not for you.
Use Common Sense
There is a major difference between sports trash talk and hate speech. If you feel the need to use ethnic or homophobic slurs, just keep your mouth shut. Threatening players' lives or those of their families is more than just a lack of sportsmanship, it displays your lack of character. Many take their favorite sport seriously, myself among them, but we do not advocate or tolerate violence or hate speech, no matter what. Don't be stupid. It's better to be a sad excuse for a fan rather than a sad excuse for a human being.
Get New Material
Self-explanatory. There are some jibes that are an exception to this, but generally employing overused or proven baseless taunts is akin to telling the same joke over and over: It's isn't funny, and it just annoys everyone around you. Trash talk welcomes puns, jokes, hyperboles, and humor. Focus on these and keep them fresh. In other words, I better not still be hearing "Ryan Braun" and "technicality" in the same sentence in 2019. We're all better than that.
So, off you go, to stadiums and sports bars, to pick up games and playoffs! Even if your team aren't winners this season, at least now you won't sound like a loser... well, at least we can hope!
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