Megan Brown, that girl on deck editor-in-chief

We don't need a press conference with Ozzie Guillen to know that there are definitely things you can and can't say in sports - or, in some cases, things you shouldn't say in public in general. 

Yet, there is one instance in sports where we allow ourselves to let loose... and get a little feisty. You do it, I do it, athletes do it, coaches do it, everyone does it: trash talk.

No doubt about it, trash talk is an integral and inevitable part of sports culture. It's ingrained into fans from birth. In the dictionary, it is defined by Merriam-Webster as "disparaging, taunting, or boastful comments especially between opponents trying to intimidate each other" - but it is so much more than that. Taunting opposing teams' players, management, or even mascots is a favorite past time of athletes and fans alike. 

There are many advantages to mastering the art of trash talk. For one, you can intimidate those  loudmouth losers at the sports bar so they'll let you watch the game in peace. You can also boost your own confidence if you happen to be the athlete in the situation. Also, you'll be able to stand up for your team when someone dares say disparaging comments- and you'll be able to fire right back. In all of these situations, though, whether you are on national tv or in a tiny sports bar, the true victory is simply your rivals conceding the obvious: that you and/or your team are truly superior to them and/or their team. 

But where do you draw the line between clever and crude? Between sarcastic and savage? You don't have to roll out the red carpet for your teams' rivals, but there is definitely an art to effective and acceptable trash talk to ensure you get your point across without disgracing yourself and your team with classless behavior. There are several keys to learning the art of effective and appropriate trash talk - and how to come out on top, even if your own team isn't giving you much to work with.
Follow these quick tips to hone your trash talking, so you can bait with the best of 'em. 

Know Your Stuff
Be smart- and know the aptitude of your target. This will enable you to be most effective at getting them to admit defeat. Knowing your "stuff" definitely leads to more witty taunting, so make sure you can at least enough to come up with something more clever than "Prince Fielder is fat." Who cares? Fielder doesn't have to run that fast if he keeps hitting home runs the way he already has this season. You can make broad generalizations based upon a small current season sample size, though. Come on, this is trash talking, and you'll most likely still be more accurate than Skip Bayless is on... well... anything. Also, know the intelligence of your audience. If you team's losing record is worse than my team's, I'd probably avoid that topic. If you are an expert, don't pull out ancient unrelated statistics or obscure games to try to prove your point. You'll only lead your rival to point out that you're merely overcompensating for present failures.  

Gain Respect
Know what it means to be a fan. Stand by your team- even if they are losing or just don't have as good of a record as your rival. There have to be some redeeming qualities about your team, or, at least, something unflattering about your rival. (This is sports. Today alone, we had press conferences for two different scandals. Find something!) Also, if you are one of those people who have "backup favorite" teams in a non-collegiate sport and try to mock my team, I will kindly urge you to go look up "loyalty" in the dictionary. It's fine to enjoy watching other teams or admire other athletes, but you can't have allegiances all over the place and expect a diehard fan to take you seriously or even respect you. If you start a sentence, "I like the Yankees, but my backup team are the..." I will have already tuned you out. Well, I'll probably start to tune you out at the Yankees comment, but at least I'd respect you enough to ask if you'd share your Derek Jeter gift basket haul with me.

Give It ...& Take It
This is a life rule. As in, it applies to everything, not just sports. If you can't handle someone trash talking back, don't go stirring up trouble. Honestly, if you're going to whine every time someone brings up the latest Red Sox meltdown, then sports are not for you.

Use Common Sense
There is a major difference between sports trash talk and hate speech. If you feel the need to use ethnic or homophobic slurs, just keep your mouth shut. Threatening players' lives or those of their families is more than just a lack of sportsmanship, it displays your lack of character. Many take their favorite sport seriously, myself among them, but we do not advocate or tolerate violence or hate speech, no matter what. Don't be stupid. It's better to be a sad excuse for a fan rather than a sad excuse for a human being.  

Get New Material
Self-explanatory. There are some jibes that are an exception to this, but generally employing overused or proven baseless taunts is akin to telling the same joke over and over: It's isn't funny, and it just annoys everyone around you. Trash talk welcomes puns, jokes, hyperboles, and humor. Focus on these and keep them fresh. In other words, I better not still be hearing "Ryan Braun" and "technicality" in the same sentence in 2019. We're all better than that. 

So, off you go, to stadiums and sports bars, to pick up games and playoffs! Even if your team aren't winners this season, at least now you won't sound like a loser... well, at least we can hope!

Megan Brown, that girl on deck editor-in-chief

Despite the argument over when opening day/night/etc really was, the important thing is that BASEBALL IS BACK!

And, although spring training was so incredibly epic that I still am hungover, we are back at it too!

There is so much to watch for this season, with important contracts running out and big ones signed in the hot stove season, five new managers, rivalries brewing, and injuries already affecting lineups of more than a few teams. 

Here just a quick overview of a few of the things I'm looking forward to this season- and what I'm already sick of hearing about!


Things to get excited about....

Pujols, Fielder, Darvish - Any way you look at it, these guys are game changers. 

The Angels were in a spending mood in the hot stove season, and now it's time to see what they're made of. I don't care who you cheer for, you have to be excited to see The Machine do what he does best in his new territory. Albert Pujols hit .407 in spring training (...yes, I hate spring training stats, too), and it seems like he's only just warming up. Pujols has given a makeover and major boost to the entire Angels organization. I want to see if the entire team can live up to the hype. Prince Fielder is much the same- although he will add a lot of power to the Tigers, he was coming on to a much better team than Pujols did.  Also, Fielder left what could be considered a bigger hole in the team he left- my beloved Milwaukee Brewers- so it will be interesting to watch the impact he makes by both coming and going. These two sluggers are always exciting to watch and will be even more so this season.

And, then there's Rangers pitcher Yu Darvish. Apparently considered a "rock star" in Japan, he's now one of the biggest things in Texas. Although the Rangers lost CJ Wilson to the Angels, they weren't disappointed for long due to signing Darvish. Apparently he has seven pitches at his disposal- and he's set to become the ace in the Rangers lineup.  Reports from the team and even those attending spring training games say that he pitches on a "different level" than other pitchers. Darvish will be starting in MLB at the number four spot in Ron Washington's rotation, but once he gains footing, there's no doubt that he will move up. 

Deep fried hot dogs - There are plenty of ballparks who sell non-traditional game day fare, but this one tops them all!! What is more American than deep frying...well... anything! The Angels are selling them, so if you make it out that way this season, be sure to try one! I'm hoping I'll get a chance to- but if not, my very own Milwaukee Brewers can solve any fried meat cravings (I did cringe a little at that phrase) with their new offering of deep fried bacon. Oh, you read that right. I've said a million times in close games that the Brewers are giving me heart attacks, but I never thought they'd actually try to do so literally!

Wild cards - FOUR. WILD. CARDS. Wining divisions just became that much more meaningful to teams. Five of the last 15 World Series champs have been wild cards, including last season's St. Louis Cardinals. Will this improve the game & make it that much more exciting, now that there's still hope for more teams in September?  I'm hoping the answer is a resounding YES. At the very least, it will involve more fan bases in the postseason, which is always a good thing for both the sport as well as MLB as an organization. 

Ryan Braun - Love me, love my Ryan Braun obsession. But this year, it's so much more than that. Despite being Mr. Consistency every year he's been in the Majors, this season Braun has something to prove. Although, sadly, his reputation is tarnished forever despite being cleared by MLB, it would be nice to shut up some of the Braun haters with his usual impressive stats. Let's be honest: Even if you still think he's guilty, you probably still drafted him for your fantasy team. So, bring it on, my Hammering Hebrew!

Over-hyped already...

Marlins Park - Yes, it was sold out opening night. But: it's still ugly, that home run sculpture is horrendous, the fish in the tank behind home plate are apparently under more stress than Marlins investors, and all throughout Baseball Tonight last night the crowd was chanting "Let's go Heat!" Miami is just not a baseball market. And, come on. We can all agree: One bobblehead is cute, but a museum is absolutely TERRIFYING.

Yankees/Red Sox - Honestly, some days I am convinced that ESPN thinks that these are the only two baseball teams in the world. All right, enough about that.

Spring training stats - While I understand the importance of spring training (and had an AMAZING time attending the Cactus League spring training, photos of some of my adventure here), we all know that the stats themselves are pretty much meaningless - especially once regular season starts. Yes, I quote them. You quote them. Jayson Stark even quotes them. Let's all promise each other that we will just forget them in the next few weeks and focus on the stats from the games that actually count.

Jose Canseco's tweets - Sometimes they're entertaining, sometimes they're off-the-wall, and sometimes they are offering hugs. But, enough with the spectacle already! I saw he tweeted he wanted his own talk show... This is one train wreck I refuse to watch- despite people re-tweeting him in my timeline ALL THE TIME. 

However, I am looking forward to more tweets from Nyjer Morgan! So it's only natural that I sign off for now with excitement, Tony Plush style...
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! IT'S OPENING DAY!!!!!!!!!

Baseball Wives star & ex-girlfriend of Brewers outfielder Nyjer Morgan, Jordana Lenz, was kind enough to do an interview with that girl on deck editor-in-chief Megan Brown. 

Read on to learn about the brunette beauty's latest endeavors, traits she likes in a man, her alter ego Abby Anderson, and who she thinks (& wants to) win the World Series!

Batter's Up! Let's talk Baseball Wives...

What have you been up to since the filming of Baseball Wives Season 1 concluded? Who do you keep in touch with the most out of the girls on the show?
Since the show has ended i have moved back to Pittsburgh, PA- my hometown. I have been making up for lost time with my family and guest bartending here. I keep in touch with most of the girls from the show, whether it be through Facebook, Twitter, or just a quick text. Out of all the girls, I would say I talk to Chantel [Kendall], Cheri [Knoblauch], and Maggie [McCracken] the most!

The last few episodes seemed to be pretty emotional for you. Do you ever regret being on the show? Why/why not?
Well, I would have to say the whole experience was very emotional for me. Yes, the last episodes were very hard for me. I don't think it is easy for anyone to find out someone you (thought) you were close was talking about you behind your back! I don't regret the show at all!!! I would do it again in a heartbeat. It was a learning experience for sure and i have grown for the show.! I don't believe in regret honestly, I just look at everything as a lesson learned!

What's the biggest misconception about you from the show that you'd like to dispel?
The misconception... Hmmm... Well, there are a lot of misconceptions about me. The number one would have to be that I'm a "party girl." I'm not a party girl at all!!!!! [laughs] I would rather be at home in my sweatpants watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy! I'm such a bum... SWEAR! I'm not your average 23 year old!

You certainly aren't! So, will there be a Season 2? 
There will not be a season two. We weren't ever given a real reason. I believe it's because we weren't enough drama.
 
For some reason, I find that hard to believe...

Getting Personal

Knowing who your ex is and seeing you turn down some guys on the show, I'm sure inquiring minds want to know: What do you look for in a man? 
Oh, this list could go on and on. Physically, I like a tall man with great teeth/smile. He must have a strong work ethic and great hygiene, but not a germaphobe! He must be family-oriented.  And, of course, he has to make me laugh. I have a good sense of humor, so I want someone that can keep up with my witty comments!

As I'm sure you know, your ex, Nyjer Morgan, has an alter ego for when he's on the field, Tony Plush. If you had an alter ego, what would her name be, what would she be like, and when would you invoke her? 
Oh my, I never thought about this honestly... I guess I could say Abby Anderson! When I would go out with my friends when I was first 21, Abby would be the name I would give to guys. I'm that girl that stay to her group of friends when she is out and doesn't really want bothered. So I would give the guys a totally fake name and be a little on the rude side so they would leave me alone. [laughs] So I guess you could say Abby Anderson would be the night time trouble maker.... 

Sporty Speculations

What are your favorite sports teams? Did you grow up a sports fan?  
I grew up in Pittsburgh! I'm a huge sports fan!! You know I'm a hometown girl- so I love all my teams here. Pittsburgh Penguins, Steelers and Pirates! I am a total hockey lover though- I was raised a hockey girl. Baseaball would be my second favorite sport, then finally football.  My favorite baseball team would either be the Cubs or the Dodgers.

I have to ask: Who do you think will win the World Series this year?
Well, that's a loaded question... I HOPE the Pirates win, however I THINK the Angels will win! 

Thanks, Jordana! We look forward to learning about your latest adventures, either via Twitter or even here at that girl on deck! 

Daniel Gibson, that girl on deck NBA editor


When Phil Jackson’s name is mentioned there are probably a few things that immediately come to mind: championships, Michael Jordan, Chicago Bulls and the Lakers. 

He hasn’t been retired for one full season yet but his name is being mentioned nearly every day.

The New York Knicks have been working hard to add talent to their roster in order to compete for championships but this week, coach Mike D’Antoni resigned after struggling to deal with the ego of a star player, leaving behind a talented team in need of direction. 

Jackson won two titles with the Knicks as a player (1970 and 73’) and he always spoke highly of the team and players he was with. Jackson doesn’t shy away from attention and coming back to New York with their current lineup would bring plenty of that. 

But the Knicks lineup is constructed much differently than the Bulls and Lakers teams he coached because there isn’t a dominate duo. Not taking anything away from Carmelo Anthony and Amare Stoudemire, they have had great careers up to this point but they have yet to show that they can be successful together. Neither one of them is known for playing defense.

Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman, Kobe Bryant and Ron Artest (now Metta World Peace) were a few players Jackson coached in the past that loved to play defense and dominate an opponent on both sides of the court. The Knicks don’t have many players like that. (To be fair Jared Jeffries, Tyson Chandler and Iman Shumpert are excellent defenders though.)

I’m sure Jackson has been hearing all the talk and his competitive fire has to be burning right now, but is he really up for this type of challenge at this point?

His 11 championships as a coach are the most in NBA history, two more than Red Auerbach had, and he won his final title coaching the Lakers against the rival Boston Celtics. No doubt giving Boston fans even more reasons to hate the Lakers, as if they needed more ammunition.

But in sports matter how great you are there will always be cynics and criticism. Some people knock Jackson’s accomplishments because of the players he coached. 

Jordan is viewed by most professional athletes, journalist and fans of the NBA as being the greatest player to ever step on the hardwood. He teamed up with Pippen who was a tremendous defender and player in his own right. Later Rodman joined the mix and he was one of the best rebounders in NBA history and he also holds the unofficial record for most hair colors in a career. These Hall-of-Famers were surrounded by a group of role players who had defined roles to carry out and they each did it well.

Jackson didn’t have to get on guys to work hard during practices because Jordan was notorious for his work ethic. He would treat practices like they were real games and he attacked every drill with the intention of doing it better than anyone else. When the best player in the league is working that hard in practice the rest of the team picks up on that and follows his lead. 

During games Jackson didn’t have to ask who wanted to take the last shot either. Jordan was up for the challenge every single time. Make or miss, having a great game or not, Jordan wanted to take the shot with the game on the line and the pressure at its maximum point. He was also smart enough to pass to the open teammate (just ask Steve Kerr) if the defense tried to load up on him. 

It’s almost as if Jackson was there as a guardian and Jordan was running the show. They were able to win six championships and if Jordan didn’t leave the game to play baseball for a couple of seasons most people believe they would have won more.

The next stop for Phil Jackson was Los Angeles where he was fortunate enough to have Kobe and Shaq. 

In LA, Jackson took his “guardian” role to another level because Shaq and Kobe were usually fighting with each other and he had to help them play together. He implemented his triangle offense but during that time no player in the league could physically matchup with Shaq. 

But just as dominating as Shaq was in the paint, Kobe was a force on the perimeter that teams couldn’t handle. It was a situation where the opposition had to pick their poison, do you double-team Kobe and watch Shaq get 40 or do you double Shaq and watch Kobe get 40?

After Shaq left, the Lakers went through a down period before acquiring Lamar Odom, Artest and Pau Gasol. They won another championship (Jackson’s 11th and last) before getting dominated in playoffs last season by the Dallas Mavericks. Jackson decided to call it a career after that loss.

Jackson won five championships with the Lakers and that team with Kobe and Shaq probably should have won more and could have won more if it wasn’t for the oversized egos and in-fighting between the 

If Phil Jackson decides to coach the Knicks it would be his biggest challenge as a coach yet. If he was able to lead them back to the Finals and win a championship that might be more impressive than the other 11. 

The challenge is laid out there for Jackson and there is no denying he is the one the Knicks want. The ball is now in Jackson’s court, what will he do?

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